On this site will rise…
There was a Simpson’s episode years ago called “Simpson Tide” where Bart goes to the mall to get a piercing from “In and Out Piercing” and the place was surrounded by Starbucks. After Bart gets the ear piercing the shop becomes a Starbucks. I am always reminded of that episode whenever I see a new Starbucks being built a block away from another Starbs (as the irreverent but dormant caffeinerush calls it).
I can name 10 Starbs branches in the Makati Central Business District/Ayala Center area alone.
Compared with other places in Metro Manila, I always thought Commonwealth Avenue, one of the longest highways in Manila and definitely the widest, was sorely deprived because it didn’t have a single Starbucks branch on it. Sure, there were a three or four coffee shops in the Don Antonio area, but the mother of all overpriced lattes (latte? latti? cups of latte?) was nowhere to be found.
That was then.
I just found out there’s a brand spanking new Starbucks branch near my house in Don Antonio. It’s on the ground level of a call center building. Even call center employees in far-away Commonwealth are entitled to yuppie trappings, I suppose.
You’ll appreciate this then. It’s from the archives of satirical news site The Onion:
NEW STARBUCKS OPENS IN RESTROOM OF EXISTING STARBUCKS
CAMBRIDGE, MA — Starbucks, the nation’s largest coffee-shop chain, continued its rapid expansion Tuesday, opening its newest location in the men’s room of an existing Starbucks.
“Coffee lovers just can’t stand being far from their favorite Starbucks gourmet blends,” said Chris Tuttle, Starbucks vice-president of franchising. “Now, people can enjoy a delicious Frappuccino or espresso just about any time they please
LOL. That’s hilarious, Paul.
But yes, Starbucks is everywhere. World domination would be easily done by slipping some mind-controlling drug in their mixtures. Almost everyone’s drinking their stuff anyway, even the deadbeats who just hang out there and drink water while smoking in the hopeless attempt to look cool.
“deadbeats who just hang out there and drink water while smoking in the hopeless attempt to look cool.” –> People do that? 0_o *cough*losers*cough*
Thanks for the post, Paul! Funny! :D
You didn’t notice, Mela? Sit outside (a.k.a smoking area) for a few hours and you’ll be able to spot them. I used to know someone who’d grab a papercup, fill it with water and mix a few of those condiments they have available near the water cooler. I hated it whenever she’d ask me to go to Starbucks with her.
Geez.